


Izaya x Vending machine x Shizuo

by Rukazaya



Series: [Durarara!!] Shizuo x Izaya (and alternates) drabbles and one shots [7]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Crack, Double Penetration, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other, Shizaya - Freeform, Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-07 07:38:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/745976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rukazaya/pseuds/Rukazaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life of a vending machine is tough...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Izaya x Vending machine x Shizuo

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Izaya x Vending machine x Shizuo  
> Rated: R  
> Prompt: From the Durarara!!kink meme: Izaya x Vending machine and/or Shizuo x Vending machine. Bonus if it's in the point of view of the vending machine.

Life of a vending machine is harsh one. Not only do you get kicked and punched with every malfunction and technical difficulties, some drunk people like to piss on us at night. What did we ever do to you except dispense some cold drinks to quench your thirst with a few coins? We get no love, and no gratitude for out thankless job.

There’s been a wild rumor going around lately between us humble citizens that a blonde bartender likes to use us as multi-missile weapon against humans, hurling us into the air like we’re some heat-seeking-missiles, out to send destructions and cause some havoc to the world.

We’re just vending machines! Quiet, silent, and serious workers!

Sigh… so like I was saying…ah, wait! I have a customer! A nice young man with red eyes and a fashionable black fur-trimmed coat is looking at me! He has a nice smile : ) Well sir, what are you in the mood for? I have coke, diet coke, 7-up, diet 7-up, and…

Wa-wait sir. What are you… why are you unzipping your pants? Oh no, are you one of those people who likes to piss at us poor immobile vending machines who can’t flinch away from your bodily fluids? What have we ever…

Wh-what are you doing sir! Wait, why are you rubbing your hard cock against me?! Actually, why is it already hard? What kind of new assault is this? Why are you moaning ‘Shizu-chan’? I’m not Shizu-chan! I’m a vending machine! We only dispense cold drinks here, not some hot human white fluid that makes babies! Oh gawd, I think this is more traumatizing then those stories I heard of. Why does it have to be me?

Oh good! Someone’s coming this way! Please save me kind sir! This young man here is violating me and it’s…

Oh no, it’s a blond bartender! Is that the legendary man in the rumors?! Am I going to be kissing the sky tonight and saying goodbye to all my dear friends, the neon lights of Ikebukuro? This man is calling the blond ‘Shizu-chan!’ Will they just go elope off and leave me alone?

… wait. WAIT! WHY IS HE ALSO TAKING OFF HIS PANTS? A contest? What contest? To see which of them will make me cum?! What kind of contest is this? I can’t cum!!! 

Aaah… no, don’t thrust against me so hard, you’ll tip me over! Mmmnnn, oh you’re your cocks are rock solid… No, no… nngh… aaah… you two… are rocking me too hard. Aaah… uuun… no, wait not there! Don’t double penetrate me! No, not from the back too! I… I can’t take it anymore!!!! Aaaah!!!

=+=

As Shizuo and Izaya came into the vending machine with a powerful thrust, the poor machine fell to the floor, its window shattering as the soda cans spilled out. Some of soda cans burst open from being crushed in, spilling the juice all over the two assailants. The cord was pulled and finally it ripped out from the force and the lights on the vending machine fizzled out.

Shizuo and Izaya leaned against the walls and started arguing all night long, which one of them fucked the vending machine better that night. 

-end ♥


End file.
